Categories
life

All Creatures Great and Small

Earlier this week I saved a bluebird nestling. I came home one day to see a small ball-shaped something on my driveway. On closer inspection, I saw that it was breathing and lightly feathered but had completely collapsed within itself, its beak and talons hidden. I couldn’t find its nest on initial inspection and I let it be in case its home or its parents were nearby. A couple of hours later on my way out for a yoga class, it was still there, now a bit more unfurled. With a slight drizzle coming and uncertain how to proceed, I built a makeshift shelter for it with branches and cardboard.

When I returned the rain had increased and the shelter had not prevented the bird from getting soaked. While previously I had looked upon the chick with some concern and curiosity, it was at this point that my empathy crossed the phylogenetic divide. This poor thing, wet to its core, was shivering and breathing heavily. It would take a hard heart indeed to let the situation be and if my heart is anything, it is certainly not hard.

This experience led me to do some research on our level of empathy towards different animals, which is where I stumbled across the theory of phylogenetic empathy. This is a fairly intuitive idea – that we are more likely to form emotional attachments with nonhuman animals that are closer to us phylogenetically (evolutionarily). It seems to be a theory that is very difficult to explain empirically as to the why but fairly straightforward to support through measures from studies conducted across cultures. We struggle to connect with insects and spiders, organisms that are almost entirely foreign to us structurally and socially. Hence, their common usage as enemies or evil entities in fantastic literature, from the Bugs of Starship Troopers to Ungoliant and Shelob in Middle-Earth (or Orson Scott Card’s Enders Game, which takes a much more thoughtful approach).

Birds fall somewhere in the middle of the empathy hierarchy, evoking more connection than reptiles and fish and insects but far less than primates and other mammals. They play an important part of every culture and environment, particularly their spiritual significance as harbingers of spring, and we revel in their song and their colors. But while some people do care for birds as pets and companions, such as hunters and their hawks, it is a stretch for must of us to look upon them with anything more than curiosity if even that.

And yet who can ignore a small bundle, heaving and in obvious distress? Is there an additional connection we have to the “babies” of any species, their cuteness tugging on our heartstring even more? Would I have felt the same way if it was an adult bird? Likely not though likely I would have done my best to save an adult as well.

It doesn’t look like much in all honesty and gives little indication of what a beautiful bird it will one day become.
Is there emotion in this look? It’s easy to try to anthropomorphize but one thing that was clear is how afraid it was.

Some internet sleuthing informed my next actions. I put what I thought at the time was a fledgling into a tissue-lined box though it did struggle, no doubt with an existential fear at this monstrously large creature (me) though I tried my best to be gentle with towels and murmurs of encouragement. It also seemed injured as it had a long fall – I had finally found the nest, balanced precariously on my windowsill three stories up. I brought it inside, covered the box, made sure there was air, and put a lamp nearby for a bit of heat.

I did not know if the bird would survive the night but in the morning, the bird was dry and active, chirping vivaciously, asking for food. Still uncertain of what to do despite all of my online research, I put it back outside in the hope that its mother was still around and could feed it. In the mean-time, I gave a call to the local wildlife rescue hotline. They found a local rehabber who was willing to take the bird in and within an hour it had found a new home in the suburbs with an expert who knew what to do.

I am always astonished by people and their ability to empathize – be it with other people, other organisms, the environment around us. I looked up what it takes to be a rehabber later and realized there is a significant amount of dedication required, unsurprising given the challenges and risks inherent to caring for wildlife. Where I had gingerly handled the bird, the rehabber immediately took it in her hands, while lightly admonishing me for putting it back outside in the rain, her touch firm and confident but also a container of warmth and nurture.

She thought it was a robin when she first took the bird (she was also the one who told me it was a nestling and not a fledgling) but later called me to let me know it was actually a blue bird. And it was doing quite well! For those interested in the spiritual interpretation (which hadn’t even occurred until a friend sent one my way), encountering a blue bird has many meanings across cultures but hope, joy, and transformation are common. It is a sign of enormous change in the future, which, like the Fool in tarot, seems to be quite relevant to my current affairs.

Our relationship with the animals around us is unbalanced, certainly for those of us who live in urban and suburban areas. We love our pets of course but they are domesticated. Some, like me, delight in glimpses of deer and foxes and tortoises while others see them as destroyers of gardens or intruders on our land. We also think nothing of killing rodents, seen as pests and rightfully so as they can be vectors of disease, and even less of insects and spiders (though I typically let spiders do their thing in my home, which essentially is pest control).

Two days after encountering the blue bird, this massive turtle was just hanging out in my neighbor’s driveway. It was soon on its way though.

Compare that to the wonderful principle of ahimsa (non-violence) in Jainism that covers all life, even insects, where ascetics may go so far as wearing masks to avoid inhaling flying bugs. Or to conservation efforts that mobilize and work indefatigably to save a species. As an example, the blue bird itself was on the verge of extinction in the 1970s until a dedicated conservation effort saved it.

For good or for ill, wild animals have become foreign to most of us in the contemporary world. Sometimes what it takes to change this and forge a new connection is an orphaned nestling blue bird, new to the world, deserving of an opportunity at life.

An eastern blue bird. Picture is from the blue bird conservation article.

Categories
travel

A Journey to the West: Part Ten

Do I owe whatever success I have had in professional life to the unifying power and cultural relevancy of sport? Almost certainly, given that my essay for my college application covered my experience going to a football (soccer) game in Istanbul with my cousin when I was a child. And surely that essay was my golden ticket to a good university, which led to a good job, and onwards ad astra. My essay used a game, a tense 1-0 victory for Fenerbahce, the club team of my heart, over Trabzonspor in 1999, to discuss not only the joys of watching sport but also how my personality and worldview is the product of two cultures and traditions, American and Turkish, which has enriched my life to no end.

I have been to only two Fenerbahce games in my life as I usually visit Turkey during the off-season. The details of the games have started to fade and conflate with the passage of time but the experience, the emotion, the feelings I still remember well. The excitement of a large crowd, vibrating, excited, there for one purpose, to support a group of eleven people in contest against eleven others. The songs, both scripted and impromptu, roaring from the rafters, spliced by raucous and raw shouts of encouragement, gasps at near-misses, whistles of disdain at referees and opponents and any others that would dare stand in the way of triumph.

My team was always going to be Fenerbahce, despite my father rooting for Besiktas, one of the other great Istanbul clubs. Several of my cousins were – and to an extent still are though a bit more mellow now – near-fanatical supporters of the club and despite being born in a different country in a time before internet, when even phone calls across borders were difficult, I would inevitably fall under the gravity and the influence of their fandom. My box of keepsakes from my childhood include newspaper clippings of Fenerbahce victories and team mementos my cousins, all much older than me, sent by mail as I was growing up.

1-0 to Fenerbahce, the lone goal by Elvir Baljic in the 16th minute
Yes, my cousin, almost 30 at the time, pasted his own picture on to the newspaper before mailing it across the ocean. What can I say: it (whatever it is) runs in the family!

As it is for billions of people around the world, football is in my blood. While I only lightly follow Turkish football and Fenerbahce these days, and only so often watch football on the telly, I am still an avid fan, well-versed in players and trends across nations and continents. One of the biggest draws of the sport is how international it is, how a team could have players from a dozen different countries in its squad, how different nations embrace football in different ways, how the national playing style inevitable leads to anthropological discussions on how said style reflects the culture of the nation. Football is integrated into the quotidien nature of life in Turkey, as it is in so many countries. And so, despite being an American, my support of the Turkish national team was always inevitable as well.

The terminus of my trip out west was San Francisco, timed so that I could see Turkey play in the World Cup, a bucket list item if ever there was one. I had such anticipation and such hope for this game and this team, despite the disappointing loss in their first game. Spoiler alert: Turkey lost this game as well, crashing out of the tournament in ignominious circumstances, disappointing, especially given the expectations. But such is the world of sports. For every moment of joy is built on heaps of heartbreak and despair. As UVA’s former basketball coach aptly said, quoting from the Bible: “weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning.” I consoled myself with watching highlights of Euro 2008, when my father and I jumped around in delirious joy after Turkey mounted an improbable comeback against the Czech Republic.

Despite the loss, it was an amazing experience. I sat by myself – a friend who also went was in a different section and the stadium was full, teeming to the brims, with Turkish fans so trying to co-locate was impossible – behind the goal designated as the Turkish supporters’ section. The atmosphere was electric, only momentarily deflated by a goal conceded far too early by a slow and tentative defense. The entire section watched the entire game standing, shouting, groaning and cursing at their players and the opponents and the referees in a uniquely Turkish way (football fandom, even more so than football playing style, distills and concentrates a nation’s ethos and personality perfectly). I ended the game hoarse and at one point near the end, after a near-miss, let loose a keening howl so despairing it likely woke up children in Santa Clara in a fright.

Turkish fans already full of energy half an hour before kickoff
My selfie form could use some improvement but proof that I was actually at the game

There is a dark side to sport fandom. Given that it is built on the shared purpose of a large group of people, the throngs of people who make up the singular and unpredictable entity of a crowd, it can turn angry and violent. A quick search of the shenanigans in Turkish club football over the past couple of years, with pitch invasions and attacks on referees, will reveal an ugliness to sport that has no place anywhere. Then there is the effort of plutocratic organizations to sanitize the match-going experience, to commoditize the passion of sports into a product, which leads to anodyne and ho-hum environments. This game, however, was the perfect throwback: an engaged, excited, vibrant group of people, always positive and passionate. Two people in my section were not Turkish (or Paraguayan) and after the game they were smiling ear-to-ear, amazed at what they had experienced, caught up in the emotion of the moment.

In total I spent two days in San Francisco, catching up with old friends and exploring the corners of the city I’d not seen before. I have mixed feelings on San Francisco. In many regards, it’s a lovely city, with diverse personalities and cultures and even microclimates across its different neighborhoods, its environment quite pretty as it abuts a bay to the east and the ocean to the west. In other ways that I find hard to explain, I’m not a fan. The tech-bro culture is not as obvious as one might think for a casual visitor given how significant the Silicon Valley world is to this city but still I have a feeling that San Francisco is a bit full of itself. It is an easy place to simultaneously like and dislike in equal measure.

A view of San Francisco from Bernal Heights

And so this journey to the west comes to a close. Over 11 full days, 2000 miles of driving, 100 miles of walking and hiking, good times with good friends, experiencing both nature and urban life, several excellent meals, taking hundreds of photos and building memories that will last a lifetime, it was a great trip and a great start to my sabbatical. I am writing this final entry at home, back into a daily grind of sorts, though thankfully not of the corporate ilk, but still uplifted and grateful for the good fortune of living in this world.

Categories
travel

A Journey to the West: Part Nine

My friend Carrie gave me two tarot readings on my trip and in both cases the Fool was the anchor card. Its appearance, accompanied by a rather cryptic declaration of “interesting” by Carrie, was at first a bit deflating, perhaps even more so than the dreaded Death card that inevitably appears in any depiction of tarot in film or television. Avid readers of the blog may be chuckling, perhaps even snortling, but I would remind them that while I may often act the fool, I certainly am nobody’s fool. In any case, my deflation was unwarranted, informed mostly by a complete lack of knowledge on tarot.

Despite what may come across in my writings, I am not a mystical or spiritual person. I have been doing yoga for years and years but I usually zone out during the philosophical and breathing parts of it. I am generally a rational and empirical person and therefore rather skeptical of practices like tarot and astrology and occultism. But I am so very fortunate that somehow I have bucked a trend and as I have gotten older I have become more open-minded and those two tarot readings evoked an intense curiosity in me.

And thus: the Fool. The Fool, it turns out, represents new beginnings and leaps of faith. In the Thoth tradition, which my reading drew from, it symbolizes pure potential, divine motion, and the spark of creation. The Fool, a youthful and vibrant figure, ignores fear and the subconscious ego, listening instead to his instincts and trusts the universe will catch up as he pursues life with creative ecstasy (as represented by the vine of Dionysus). Now that murmur of “interesting” makes sense, with the reading coming as it did at the beginning of my sabbatical. Was this mere coincidence, or truth in the cards? It is for each of us to decide that on our own but I will certainly be reading more about tarot in the future.

The Fool: so much, almost too much, symbolism going on here
This is Tilly, an absolutely precocious kitten

Back in the prosaic material world, I embarked on the final driving leg of my trip, choosing the more curious route of hitting the pacific coast highway for a bit instead of the straight shot down to San Francisco. The beginning of the drive went through more Redwood forests, where a brief stop at one last grove fortified the soul for the long drive, before I turned to the coast for a quick detour to Mendocino county. In my time, I have driven many roads of dubious provenance and endless twists and turns, from the wild peninsulas of Ireland to the mountainsides of Utah, and the closest I have come to experiencing dizziness was this stretch of Route 1 as it took me from the inland to the coast. There is nothing frightening about it as it goes through more forest with few sheer drops but it never stops twisting, for miles and miles, until finally it hits the coast.

The twists and turns were much worse than what the map shows, which is bad enough

Mendocino county’s coast is what I had hoped it would be: foggy, rugged, waves crashing, wild. At this point in my journey I was a bit tired so I didn’t linger for too long, except to have an excellent seafood meal in Fort Bragg (how this guy, a Confederate general, got a town named after him in this part of California I am uncertain). The PCH does not hug the coast as much here as it does in Big Sur but there were enough views of the Pacific to make it worthwhile and to see why this is a popular destination.

I had to keep an eye out on these seagulls while having an excellent seafood lunch

My return inland took me through Andersen Valley wine country, itself worthy of a stop for some tastings on a trip in the future, before connecting to the main highway for a boring, busy drive back to San Francisco to return my car. I did get a chance to drive the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time, which was gloriously foggy, before joining some lovely bumper-to-bumper traffic for the rest of the drive. And so I arrived in San Francisco, my final destination after 2000 miles of driving over nine days, and with one final adventure to come.

The stereotypical northern California coast picture: rugged, foggy, wildflowers
Van Damme Beach

Categories
travel

A Journey to the West: Part Eight

It has been well established that my soul age is 21. This to be clear is not my own judgment but the determination of others. A recent tarot reading also supports the idea of the youthfulness of my spirit – albeit in an abstruse and mystical manner. I don’t think it was always this way as in my actual youth I felt like I was less fun and adventurous. But as the years roll on, I find myself delighting more in the world around me, I find smiles come more readily to my heart even when plumbing the deepest and darkest valleys of my existential self, and a lightness is, I hope, now eternally part of my being. My YOLO is not the stuff of reckless hedonism but an almost childish joy and curiosity in life. I have always loved the feeling of wind through my hair (a fairly important input into past decisions for growing my hair out long) but have never reveled in it as much as I do now. 

I think some of this joy and wonder comes through in my writings in this series as I marvel at the ceaseless and at times improbable beauty of nature. But I have yet to write much on what may be my most immediate love: trees. For a tree is a being, not just a structure or a part of a landscape, an actual living organism that shapes the world around us and supports the environment (an oxygenated atmosphere) for our own continued existence. One of the reasons I chose my current home a few years ago is because it was surrounded by trees, not a lawn, which I think is silly human invention that makes mockery of the natural world, but trees, stretching tall and spreading wide. I have particular affection for the large birch tree in front of my townhouse despite its best efforts to be a nuisance. To wit:

  • The birds that nest in the tree for some reason always wake before the sun rises and make an unholy racket (which of course in the daytime I consider melodious birdsong but before dawn… not so much)
  • These same birds pelt my car, which sits in my driveway, incessantly with their shit
  • And if it’s not the birds then it’s the pollen and the sap, coloring my car with ugly ochre yellow dust or this godawful syrup that acts as a particularly strong natural glue for all sorts of detritus and attracts bees
  • It sheds branches in the way a dog sheds hair, strewing them not only across my front yard but my neighbors’ as well (honestly, this bit worries me about the health of the tree and I dread calling in an arborist to check on it)
  • And this past winter its longest branch destroyed the screen in front of my bedroom window and now when the wind is blowing it enjoys scratching the window, making a sound not unlike a banshee’s shriek

And yet I love this tree and I worry that one day my neighbors will ask that I trim its branches. I will have a difficult decision to make: do I preserve a measure of affable cordiality or do I become the villain of the piece? Let us hope that day never comes.

My birch tree, which I love despite its best efforts
Its branches have a complete disregard for my personal space

If I have such strong feelings for a single birch tree, imagine how a forest full of Redwood trees, massive and majestic, affects me. Having had a few conversations about them it is evident that the Redwood evokes widely different emotions in different people, with one friend even implying that they are sinister. I do understand the thought as their forests are typically dark and cool, sunlight struggling to filter through their canopies far above, and their trunks often gnarled by age and circumstance. But that’s not how I think of them.

But what do I think of them? Perhaps I am writing this piece too soon as I still struggle to describe how they made me feel. They evoke a sense of awe and wonder, mostly because of their size, but there is nothing particularly striking or beautiful about them when compared to some other trees. In some ways they are archetypical – ask a child to draw a tree and it will look very similar to a Redwood. But they just feel ancient, they feel aloof, they feel like they experience time in a completely different scale and do not even notice us. I have used the word majesty but I don’t think they are even that regal. Instead they are like residents of a separate world, a spirit world, a world beyond our ken.

Over the course of a few days I had the privilege of experiencing these trees in many different ways: sharing the experience with larger crowds in kid-friendly trails, walking in solitude for hours, spending meditative moments in groves, and driving through highways and byways wending their way through forests.

A massive Redwood in the Grove of Titans
Craning neck and camera to capture the canopy in a grove on the Boy Scout Tree trail

The highlight was a ten-mile loop in Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park, where for the first four miles I encountered not a single other soul as I traipsed up and down valleys and through groves. The trail hit the sea at its halfway point, its brine noticeable in the air, hitting the senses well before even the sounds of the crashing waves, the water mostly invisible because of a heavy fog blanketing the shore. A short detour through a canyon of ferns was not as enjoyable, oddly enough not because of the hordes of children gleefully playing in small pools but instead clueless older humans who have no concept of trail etiquette. I returned to the forest for the final four miles, which, admittedly, was a major challenge for my aching legs. Exhausting as it was, it was a delight for the soul and for the senses, one of the best hikes I’ve ever done. 

This was my final adventure before heading to San Francisco for the rest of my trip and these trees inevitably led me to think of the tension we have with our natural world. We need its resources so we can survive but as any half-way discerning and intelligent person knows there is no balance. In my journeys, I traveled through many forests, dense and green, but also sources for logging and trucks heavily laden with felled trees slowly chugging along country highways, trees whose great heights will not return for many lifetimes yet. It makes me wonder about one of my favorite hobbies, woodworking (see my work here), and if I should be considering it at all in moral terms.

My experiences in these travels, as is ever the case whenever I have the good fortune of visiting the great parks and lands of our nation, have also given me great appreciation for the people and organizations that work to conserve and protect them. The job of a ranger is a noble one and that of a conservationist an important one, channeling the connection that indigenous peoples once had and still have to the land, reminding us that the earth is a mother and a father, a shelter and a home, who punishes with cruelty but also provides without prejudice.

A lush redwood forest on the Miners Ridge and James Irvine loop
Fog blanketing Gold Bluff Beach
Driving through the Avenue of the Giants south of Eureka